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AITAH for not wanting to co-sign a 30 year mortgage on a house with my boyfriend?
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The fact that he's suddenly guilt tripping her about supporting her for all these years is a huge red flag. He can't use these kinds of things against her; he chose to help her, and it was unconditional help and love, not conditional on manipulation in the future.
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She's doing the right thing by saying no. It shows wisdom on her part, and rationality in her decision making. If every bone in your body is screaming “no,” then there's only one answer to the question at hand. Listen to your instincts, and listen to your body.
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26-year-old boyfriend demands his 25-year-old girlfriend co-sign on a $400,000 home, he guilt trips her financially but she refuses: “What if we break up?”
Never mix money and dating. I've seen it go terribly one too many times. Of course, if you're married then it's a different matter. Why would someone sign a mortgage or other financial document before signing a wedding contract? Some people like to take risks, or they're just too trusting. Risk takers don't mind what happens when they sign their life away to someone else, they may enjoy the thrill it gives them. For other people, they just trust too easily. Someone says they love them, they will do anything for them, and the person just believes them willingly. In my opinion, I would never mix business with a partner, and when I get married I would want to have a separate bank account for myself.
Not every couple has even thought through the intricacies of financial webs, and a lot of the time there isn't a formal conversation about it. It's of the utmost importance to communicate about these things. In the story below, the couple has lived together for 2 years, and the boyfriend pays the rent. When he seeks help from his girlfriend in buying another home she refuses. It's a 30 year mortgage on a $400,000 home. Read the full story below for all the juicy details.